Hmm…I can smell it already.
Dr Adam You farted again?
You don’t have sense. I meant Christmas.
Dr Adam Oh right, the time to end all existing relationships to avoid buying Christmas gifts.
So your brilliant idea is to break up with somebody that you love because of ordinary Christmas gift?
Dr Adam No, not break up. Take a break…and resume after February 14.
Why are you really like this?
Dr Adam Let’s focus, please. What is the problem today?
It is almost Christmas again and I am not married. At this time of the year, I get depressed and anxious. At Christmas, everybody comes home and the pressure to get married increases. All my 3 sisters and brother are married. I am the last but already crossed the age at which all of my sisters got married—24. Once again, I’m going to be face-to-face with all my aunts, uncles, married sisters, and everyone wondering why I’m not married yet. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think but…I’ve been dating this guy for almost four years and everybody knows this yet he won’t propose.
I spend most weekends at his place, I do normal girlfriend routine—cook, clean, sex e.t.c
But he’s got my life on hold. I love him and want to start a family.
Sometimes, I think about leaving him, but I’ve been with him this long and keep hoping he will change his mind. I’m afraid to start all over again.
When I talked to my Dad, he said, ‘why would a guy want to buy the cow when he’s getting the milk for free?—
Dr Adam —for ponmo
Please be serious.
That hurt my feelings, but maybe Dad’s right. I just can’t let go. I want to get married. I brought it up again yesterday, and this time my boyfriend got really mad. He said getting married would just mess things up. He says once a couple ties the knot they start acting like old married people and turn into roommates. I don’t think it’s that big a deal. If he loved me, he would marry me.
Dr Adam That’s how this one’s boyfriend has tied her destiny.
Men are scum, I tell you.
Dr Adam Facebook now takes that as a hate speech, you know.
I don’t care.
Dr Adam My dear poster, your Dad is right. Your long-term boyfriend is most likely afraid to commit—and guess what? You’ve made it easy for him by giving him everything he should be getting only from his wife. I would prescribe you take some time off on your own and ask yourself why you are with this person.
Amen to that.
Dr Adam Define what you really want in a husband and sincerely ask yourself if he has it. It doesn’t take an eternity for a relationship to get to the altar when you both have defined what you want in a partner and you have found it in the other person. It may shock you that the same person that says ‘marriage will ruin everything’ will be married few weeks after you break up.
I’m telling you. Men are scum like that.
Dr Adam Lol. You are angry. Calm down.
He even said once a couple ties the knot they start acting like old married people and turn into roommates. For someone that has never and doesn’t want to get married, he knows an awful lot about marriage.
Dr Adam Calm down, Evelyn.
I am calm but all these kinds of things use to vex me.
If it’s vexing you too—
Dr Adam —or you have something to add to the advice—
—please leave a comment in the comments section.
Dr Adam Also if you have any problems in your relationship you would like us to treat, please send them to firstname.lastname@example.org *ugh* that’s disgusting. What’s that smell?
Dr Adam That doesn’t smell anything like Christmas. What have you been eating? Jeez!
Till we come your way again, people…
Dr Adam Live, love and laugh.