6 ways to identify a toxic friendship

Sometimes, even friendship can be emotionally abusive. Most emotionally abusive people have low self esteem, and therefore poke at your emotions to lower your esteem too and bring you down to their level. This leads to a toxic friendship where your friend affects you with all the negative vibes possible. The best way to decide whether a friendship might not be healthy is to be honest with yourself about how you feel when you’re with that person. Do you generally feel worse when you hang out with them? Do you feel drained of energy any time you spend time with them? Toxic friendships are bad for our mental health and wellbeing. If you cannot improve the relationship, you should think about letting it go. Here is how to identify emotional abuse from a friend:

Pointing out your insecurities

We all have some insecurity that we are sensitive about. They are quick to point out your flaws. Honesty is important in any relationship, and friendships are no exception. However, it’s when the honesty becomes relentless criticism of everything you do that the relationship becomes toxic. You find yourself unable to talk to your friend because you are afraid that they will point out everything you did wrong instead of offering you their support. Though it may come out as a joke when a friend points some of them out, sometimes it is not so funny, especially if it is on issues on your weak areas. There is a difference between an honest friend and one who is intentionally bringing you down.

Talking bad about your other friends

This person always bad-mouths your other friends, so that all you see are their faults and choose to avoid them. Before you know it, you have cut off most of your friends and are totally dependent on this friend. This way, it seems as if it is the two of you against the world, while in reality, you are stuck with their friendship as you don’t have much of a choice.

Reminding you constantly of your past mistakes

Some things are best kept in the past. This is especially if you felt really bad about them and you have already forged a way forward into better decision making. If this friend keeps reminding you of those terrible experiences and points out your poor decision making, it may make you relive the past which is best left there, in the past. Good friends commend your effort to make better choices and try to see the good in you, especially if you struggle with your past choices.

They pressure you to do things you don’t want to do

When you are around them, they pressure you into doing things you are not comfortable and make you feel like a loser when you do not do them. It’s good to be around people who encourage you to try new things but it becomes toxic when they are forcing you to do things. You should be encouraged but not forced to try new things and move out of your comfort zone.

Playing victim at every circumstance

This friend plays victim in each situation that you go through and makes you feel guilty over things that are not your fault. They take everything way too personal and make it look like your fault that things did not go your way. This is a form of manipulative behavior to coerce you to do things their way.

Help you so that you can owe them

They offer help when it’s convenient to them not to you. They only care about themselves and do not consider you. A toxic friend will always remind you of that time they helped you out so that you feel that you owe them. This could run for years or they will constantly jump to help so that you are more and more indebted to them. It is important to differentiate between someone helping you from the goodness of their heart and someone who intends to use their ‘help’ against you.