Why Some People Succeed (And Others Don’t)

Recently, while at a speaking event, someone in the audience asked me the following question:

“Have you ever seen someone come close to breaking through but then not succeeding? What is the difference between those who make and those who don’t?”

My knee-jerk response was: “Quitting. The difference between the ones who make and the ones who don’t is quitting.”

This is true — in a sense. If you quit before you reach your goal, you’re not going to make it. You’re never going to publish that book, launch that business, or quit that horrible job.

But there are exceptions, those who have been tirelessly working at their side hustle for years. And still, no results. None to really speak of. This is frustrating, even unfair. I know, because I’ve been there. Maybe you have, too.

So what are we missing here?

How to fail at everything

For most of my twenties, I made halfhearted attempts at becoming a professional writer. I even got a feature article published in a national magazine with a circulation of hundreds of thousands of readers. They paid me $250, featured my story on the cover (I still have the photograph to prove it), and my path to the big leagues was forged.

Or so I thought.

During that time, I launched multiple blogs, none of which had more than 100 readers. Each lasted no more than a few months. Some only lasted a few weeks. They are still all on the Internet. You can find them if you are willing to dig deep enough.

I spent five or six years doing this, growing frustrated by the process. It was around this time that I attended a conference where one of the speakers told his story and shared that on Day 6 of his brand-new blog he got over 6000 visitors.

“That’s when I knew,” he said, “that this was my calling.”

And yet, here was I, having worked for much longer than six days and still had nowhere near that traffic. I was a failure, on the verge of giving up.

It was at this time that I made a few decisions.

Three decisions that changed everything

First, I decided to start doing my best, admitting I wasn’t really working as hard as I could.

Part of me, I think, was afraid to succeed, so I was subtly sabotaging myself. This wasn’t a conscious effort, but I was definitely acting the amateur.

This often happens in other areas, as well, such as weight loss. It’s confirmation bias. We give the life change we want a “solid try,” about 80% of our effort, fully knowing that this may not be enough. So that when we fail, we can say, “See? I tried that. Didn’t work. Now, it’s back to donuts for me.”

Second, I decided to humble myself and follow the work of others, becoming a student of their success.

This article was written by Jeff Goins