7 conversation killers you want to avoid

In real life, person-to-person conversation affords so many nuances, glimmers into someone’s heart and mind, as well as possibilities for deeper connection. It is an art form, in the same way letter writing is. It elevates and stretches us. Through conversation we gain self-confidence, learn to understand and feel understood, and experience the joy of simple human connection. We need to engage in ways that foster healthy and fulfilling relationships. We can do that through conversation if we know how to converse properly.

Here are seven ways you might be driving people away from having a conversation with you;

1. You complain and gossip

If your conversation is filled with negativity, complaints, gossip, or pessimism, you would not be very enjoyable to be around. It’s energy-draining for the listener. Of course in close relationships, we need to share our difficulties, but these should not dominate a conversation, especially with people you don’t know well.

2. You use too much sarcasm

A touch of sarcasm here and there can be witty. But if it’s constant, it puts one off and can be  hurtful. Many people don’t find sarcasm funny at all, or they simply don’t understand you are being sarcastic. If you tend toward a sarcastic sense of humor, temper it until you know whether or not the listener appreciates it.

3. You are not very interesting

If you do not have much to contribute to a conversation, then it is not really a conversation. Conversation involves sharing ideas, feelings, experiences, and knowledge. Mentally prepare yourself before a conversation with topics for discussion or interesting things you have done or read. Try to avoid topics that are controversial or potentially offensive.

4. You talk about yourself too much

Great conversation actually involves more listening than talking. You listen to acknowledge and engage with the other person. If you talk too much about yourself, the other person feels like merely an audience for your one-man show.

5. You give unsolicited advice

Not many people want advice unless they ask for it. If you tend to want to tell people the best way to do something or share your expertise, make sure you ask them first if they want your thoughts.

6. You dominate the conversation or interrupt

A conversation involves two people. You must listen as much or more than you talk. And when someone else is talking, let them finish and respond to what they have said before presenting your thought or story.

7. You seem distracted

A real conversation involves looking the other person in the eye, acknowledging them verbally and through facial expression, and being engaged in what they are saying. If you are looking around, checking your texts, answering phone calls, or acting otherwise distracted, you are sending a message that you are not really interested.