5 mistakes that could end a friendship before it even starts

How do you turn an acquaintance into a friend? Why do some friendships never get off the ground, despite your best efforts? Certain roadblocks pop up over and over again, particular common behaviors in which we engage without thinking and these mistakes may be keeping friendships from taking off. Here are five common mistakes that can easily ruin new friendships:

1. Not Asking Questions and Following Up. You should ask yourself; Are you actually showing an interest in the other person’s life by asking not too intrusive questions, and paying attention to the answers? If you are not giving the other person the opportunity to express themselves, you are simply having a monologue. Ask questions, show genuine interest in the responses, and follow up the next time you meet. Only then are you building a foundation for a true, personal friendship.

2. Being Overly Indecisive About Plans. Friendships flourish when both parties make plans as easy and natural as possible. Setting up a bunch of rigid parameters will only make the other person wonder if you are worth the effort.

3. Trying Too Hard to Impress. The truth is that being dishonest about your true self hurts nobody but you. When you’re putting forward a perfect image, idea or notion about yourself, more often than not you’re exaggerating your personality and accomplishments. Instead, you should strive to surround yourself with people that like you just as you are. People that think you are incredible without having to be told so. People that can see the real you and still enjoy spending time with you. This is what friendship is truly about, not garnering attention so you can impress others, or boasting about your accomplishments.

4. Breaking Confidences. You might feel so honored to have been told something juicy by your new friend that you just must pay it forward by informing another friend about it. Or maybe you did not really think the news was as sensitive as it was and that you shouldn’t share it. You are already putting cracks in the building blocks of trust and intimacy needed to form a genuine relationship.

5. Too much Gossip. Sometimes, discussion of others can serve as a sort of social glue to help build community, and it does not always have to be spiteful. But, of course, some gossip can be truly toxic. When you talk about others to make them look bad, directly or indirectly, it’s only going to make your new friend wonder what you are saying about him or her when they are not around.