Traits to look out for when searching

To all those who are still single because they have turned down a lot of good choices waiting for the perfect one, I have nothing against you, in fact I think it is good to know what you want and have the drive to go for it. But while you are waiting and searching, here is something I need you to keep in mind.

Every potential spouse looks perfect before you marry especially when you are deeply in love. No matter how hard you try, it will almost be impossible to find any fault in him/her. Alas! When you eventually become one, you will realize that a lot of work goes into the cool breath people have during the day. Imagine waking up every morning to a spouse who has a terrible mouth odor and because she loves you so much the first thing she wants to do is give you a kiss; or returning home after a stress filled day to a spouse making sounds typical of a generator in the name of snoring; you don’t want to imagine how much some people invest in air fresheners because each time oga visits the loo the house will need some help in clearing the air; how about the pretty madam’s preference for torn under wears. All of these and more are the minor issues people deal with daily in marriage, so you may never find a spouse if you are constantly bothered by the minor issues.

Everyone has their own baggage of minor issues some of which you may never discover while courting, but the secret to happy marriages is when couples celebrate each others strengths and live with the minor issues while encouraging each other to be better. Stop looking at the shape of his teeth, bother with major issues like faith, believes, financial strength, intellectual capabilities etc.

Written by certified relationship coach, Bosun Bankole, #RelationshipCheck is a weekly column published every Wednesday on TopNaija.ng. For further questions or enquiries, please tweet @Bosun_Bankole or send an email to [email protected].