How to be Charming!

APPRECIATION

Each time we express gratitude, thankfulness or appreciation to others for something they have done, either small or large, their self-esteem increases. This makes people feel more competent, confident and capable. Their self-image improves and their self-respect soars. And how do you trigger this wonderful feeling in others? It is simple. You do this just by saying “thank you” on every occasion, for any large or small deed.

ACCEPTANCE

The best gift you can give other people is the attitude of unreserved, unlimited positive regard. This means that, regardless of race, colour or background, you accept people sincerely in their entirety, without any limitation. You never criticize or find fault. You are totally accepting of everything about people, and you’re sincerely interested in them. This is a key requisite to becoming a charming person who easily wins people’s love.

APPROVAL

It is said that “babies cry for it, men die for it.” Throughout life, all humans have a deep subconscious need for approval of their actions and accomplishments. No amount of approval ever satisfies for long. The need is ongoing, like the need for food and rest. People who continually seek opportunities to express approval are welcome wherever they go. Perhaps the best definition of approval is “praise.” Just remember, whenever you praise other people for something they have done, their self-esteem is elevated.

ADMIRATION

As Abraham Lincoln said, “Everybody likes a compliment.” When you give people a genuine, sincere compliment about a trait, possession, or accomplishment, they automatically feel better about themselves. They feel acknowledged and recognized. They feel valuable and important. They like themselves more, and they like you more. Compliment a person on an article of clothing. Compliment someone on a trait, like punctuality or persistence. Compliment for small things as well as large.

ATTENTION

This is perhaps the most important quality of all. It is the most powerful behavior for building self-esteem and is the key to instant charm. The more closely you pay attention to other people, the more valuable and important they will feel they are, and the more they will like you.

ASSISTANCE

The last but not the least key to becoming charming is by cultivating the habit of helping people become the best they can each time you have an encounter with them. You become indispensable when you master the habit of bringing out the best in people, when people feel good and better after having a chat with you. This automatically creates a positive image about you in their mindsets and makes them crave to always be in your presence.

IN CONCLUSION
The next time you meet your significant other or even someone you work with, conduct this exercise: Imagine that when you were young, you had a dear friend with whom you shared many important emotional experiences of your young life. But years passed and you lost touch. You had no idea where your friend had gone. One day, when you are walking down the street suddenly there he is! Your whole face lights up and all you can think is, “It’s you!”

Now, the next time you meet a person or persons who are important to you, especially loved ones or dear friends, create this same feeling and act as if you are rediscovering them after a too-long absence. Treat these special people as if seeing them makes you feel incredibly happy. No matter who they are, they will think that you are an incredibly charming person. Keep Soaring!

Isaac Oladipupo