What to do when your parents would not support your dreams

You have just quit your current job to pursue your dreams. That is, leaving the security and stability of having a salary along with a supposed career because you are passionate about cooking and baking.

Sounds crazy, right?

Ask the woman that quit her job to start Sweet Sensation Confectionery Limited

You can imagine the reaction you would get from my friends and family. Of course, the support may be next to nothing. When in this kind of situation, you need to do more than just survive; you need to become supportive of yourself and create a more positive life for yourself. You need to exercise control over your own life, both to get through today and prepare for the future.

But what do you do when your parents don’t support your dreams? See the following tips;

1. Understand your parents’ concerns. Even though our parents may seem like a nag, they usually come from a good place, with a good reason for objecting. For instance, your parents object to your career choice. Try to understand why. Ask yourself, Why? Maybe its because they feel that you won’t earn a good and stable income. Your parents, being older, have likely seen the problems that come with financial instability, which makes them resistant when they see you walking down a potentially negative path. Try to understand your parents’ concerns and making sure that you address them in your plans is an important first step to bridging the gap.

2. Talk to them. Perhaps you tried talking to your parents to no avail. But try again. This time, apply these tips:

• Understand, don’t accuse. Don’t start off with an accusation, but focus on understanding. Listen without bias to their explanations and understand as best as you can, by asking questions and listening to their side of the story.
• Allay their concerns. After understanding the full picture, allay their concerns. For instance, like the example cited in point one, If they object to your career because they are afraid you will face financial stability, let them know your career plans, how you plan to safeguard your finances, and your backup plan if things don’t work out.
• Enlighten them: We grew up in a different era from our parents and because the world has changed immensely, it has naturally led to different behaviors, mindsets in just one generation. And that’s fine, because it’s about enlightening your parents of these changes and updating them on what’s happening.
• As best as possible, explain to your parents what you are doing, why you are doing this. The more you do this, the more they will realize that there is a whole different world out there, and there is more for them to learn.

3. Get a third party to chime in. When it’s just you and them, your parents may not take your words seriously. If you have very close aunts or uncles, talk to them. Explain your goal and why it’s important. Have them chime in about it to your parents, and the pros of doing so, so they can get an alternate view. When it’s a different person speaking, your parents may be more open to listen.

4. Assert yourself. If your parents keep objecting, draw a line and make a stance. Let them know, “I understand you are doing this for my own good, but I have done my research and I have addressed the potential issues. I want to try this out. I hope you can support me” Put their minds at rest and assure them that you would make them proud.

5. Less talk, more action. All talk is pointless if there are no results. If you have tried talking but your parents don’t listen, devote yourself to your goal. Let your results speak for themselves. With each discouragement, use it as ammunition to spur yourself to achieve more results. You want your parents to trust you, so show them why you deserve their trust by bringing your plans to live.

6. Update them on your little successes. Your parents won’t know the merits of your choice unless you show them. For instance, when you get a great customer feedback, let them know or if work is your goal, when you positively change someone’s life, let them know. They would begin to understand that you have the ball in my court, and there is no need to worry.

7. Get them on board. Show them what you are learning/doing to get them on board. If running your business is your goal, keep them posted on your latest projects. We tend to resist what we don’t know, and when we know more about something, we start to understand that it’s not so scary. When your parents learn more about your path through your actions, they will start to be less judgmental and become more understanding and supportive.

8. Show that you can thrive and realize your needs despite following a different path. The ultimate step to showing the merit of your path is when you show that you are still alive, day after day, despite doing what they thought would be immensely dangerous. Or better still, thrive in it. Being in charge of your life, and being clear on your goals and plans. Making positive change. Not doing anything that would make your parents worry. Showing that you are a wise adult who can now do well in his/her life without any intervention.

Ultimately, remember that your parents love you. If they don’t care about you, they wouldn’t bother objecting to what you do at the risk of jeopardizing your relationship with them. So use their objection as an honest source of feedback. It will take time for them to change their mind, but when they see you succeeding in your path, and feeling happy and fulfilled doing so, they will realize that you have matured into a wise adult who has blossomed and created his/her path in life and knows what he/she is doing.