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How to Get Anything You Want From Anyone

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How to Get Anything You Want From Anyone

By JT Terrell

In my role as a business coach, I have the pleasure of working with different companies of every size, revenue and employee count. The one roadblock that I keep running into with all of them is that team members keep waiting for their peers to behave how they want, rather than just telling them.

For some reason, these individuals have a habit of treating peers like mind readers, expecting them to anticipate exact wants and needs. This always leads to frustration on both sides.

Whether it’s leader to direct report, peer to peer, salesperson to prospect, account manager to client or even spouse to spouse (this one can be a bit tricky, so be careful!), wouldn’t it be easier to tell people exactly what you want from them? Then they’ll actually know what you’re expecting without any of the guesswork. Communication is key to making sure that everyone is on the same page.

For example, a client told me one of his biggest issues was not getting referrals from his existing client base. As we began to talk through his organization’s proposed referral program, everyone started to come up with ways to make it easier for clients to give referrals and to incentivize them and make the process more appealing.

I finally asked what would happen if they asked for a referral right now, and everyone looked at me like I had two heads. Apparently, they saw it as taboo to ask straight out for the referral. You could have knocked me over with a post-it note.

I also had a one-on-one conversation with a larger firm’s founder and CEO, who was concerned about one of the members of his leadership team. He said that the leader “is very well-liked, friendly and a great guy,” noting, “He knows his role very well and overall he does a very good job. It’s just that I’d like to see him work with more of a sense of urgency, and I don’t know if he has it in him?”

Well, being the “master of the obvious” coach that I am, I said, “How about you tell him that word for word and then see how he feels about it? Chances are he doesn’t know that he is not working as urgently as you’d like, and only after you’ve let him know very specifically what you have observed can he begin to make those changes you are seeking. He needs to know what the expectation is before he can begin to deliver it to you.”

Sometimes, the most effective approach is the simplest and most direct. So here are four simple ways to improve the communication both within your business and personal relationships:

1. Be specific.

Talk about exactly what results you want, and share with that person what it takes to get that result. He will let you know if it can be done or if help is needed. Either way, there won’t be any confusion about your expectations.

2. Ask in person.

Emails and text messages are too easily ignored and misconstrued. Go see someone in person or, at the very least, via a video call. That way, she can see that you’re concerned about the results you want and that your intention was not to personally attack her or her character. Follow up that conversation in writing with an email, and then look forward to the activities and results to come.

3. Ask early and often.

This is the new mission of my upstart referral-based company. Don’t wait until a problem gets out of hand or you’re overdue on a project to share with others what you need from them. Include others in the process to make sure you can accomplish the task without any mishaps or surprises.

4. Express gratitude.

Now that you have gotten much better at communicating in a direct and real way, make sure that you say “please” and “thank you”—and mean it. Positive reinforcement is an important step to have direct conversations, receive feedback and attain success with coaching.

It seems so simple, this idea of being honest and direct with people, but it is rare—and sometimes shocking—when it is done face to face. Making this kind of communication the standard inside of your place of business, or inside of your home, can make your everyday life much less challenging and provide stability in your relationships.

Now that you have a better understanding of how to be direct and specific, go out into the world and help make this the rule, not the exception.

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Jaruma gives BBNaija’s Ella N600k for her mother’s medical treatment

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Jaruma and BBNaija's Ella

Nigeria’s Number one sex therapist, Jaruma is a businesswoman and so much more. She gave BBNaija’s Ella 600k for her mother’s medical treatment.

Big Brother reality star, Ella, has been having financial issues when it comes to her mother’s medical treatment.

The BBNaija star took to social to appeal for N600k to help finance her mother’s treatment. She said: “This is a cry for help. Please, mama, my mom needs you”.

The sex therapist immediately reacted to the post, as she asked her how much she needed.

Ella came back with gratitude to some other housemates who helped.

She wrote:

 “Former Big Brother Naija housemate
Thank u @jaruma_empire I didn’t even think I was worthy enough to ask and no my account wasn’t hacked…I sent out an SOS call to @jaruma_empire and all my @bigbronaija housemates today….yes I did

“I love my mum that much she gave her life for all her 4 children and if asking was going to save her I will, I couldn’t do it on my own and God won’t come down from heaven, he will appoint people here on earth to help. I want to thank @official_mercyeke @gedoni @fugganugga @diane.russet @sholzy23 and everyone who supported and called and prayed …thank u ..as u have done for my household God will do the same to all of u .. I have received the 600k from @jaruma_empire thank u for being you …i felt happy when you called u are really an angel. Can’t wait to meet u, mama. My mother can now get the medical care she needs.”
God bless my mum.. #ellians”.

Ella's post

Ella's post

Ella's post

Ella's post

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Afia Schwarzenegger goes bra-less in new photo

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Afia Schwarzenegger

Afia Schwarzenegger shared a new photo of herself flaunting her bare boobs in a revealing blacktop

The controversial Ghanaian media personality who was the host of Okay FM’s morning show Yewo krom and UTV Ghana’s Kokooko show shared the photo with the caption;

‘May your finances be firm like my breast.’

See the photo below;

Afia Schwarzenegger

 

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Kylie Jenner to sell stakes in her cosmetic line for $600 million

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Kylie Jenner

Kylie Jenner is set to sell a major stake in her popular cosmetics line for a mouth-watering sum of  $600 million.

 

The youngest self-made Billionaire and reality star will sell 51% of her stake in Kylie Cosmetics to Coty Inc. (COTY), a New York-based cosmetics company that also owns a number of international consumer beauty brands, including CoverGirl.

The partnership will help Kylie’s brand expand globally and enter new beauty categories, the two companies said in a press release Monday, November 18, 2019.

 

Kylie, being one of the most-followed people on social media will still continue to handle her creative and communication efforts with her team..

 

The cosmetics brand has generated roughly $177 million in revenue over the past year, according to Coty. The deal is expected to close in the third quarter of 2020.

 

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Thierry Henry signs 2-year coaching contract with Montreal Impact

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Thierry Henry

Thierry Henry has been unveiled as the new coach of MLS side Montreal Impact after he signed a two-year contract with the American football club.

 

This is the second opportunity for the 42-year-old Arsenal legend who was dismissed in January by Monaco after a disastrous run for the club.

 

Out of the 20 games for Monaco, Henry managed to win just four games, with his side losing 11 and sitting in the 19th spot in Ligue 1.

Henry held his first press conference where he said he confident he can recover from his sacking at Monaco. 

 

At his press conference, the Frenchman said:

‘You have to start somewhere. That’s how you acquire experience. For me, it came with Belgium and Monaco, where I learned a lot about myself.

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American actress, Jennifer Aniston hits 20 million followers in 1 month

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Jennifer aniston

Jennifer Aniston has gathered 20 million followers on Instagram just one month after joining the social media platform.

 

The actress literally broke Instagram when she joined the platform in October as fans hurried to follow the ‘Friends’ star. One day after joining, she amassed over 7.8 million followers.

Her followers have been steadily growing since then and she has now reached 20 million in four weeks.

 

She thanked her followers for this, writing:

“20 million followers? That’s a lot of thank you notes! THANK YOU, GUYS.”

 

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BBNaija housemate Tacha throws shade with beautiful pictures

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BBNaija housemate Tacha throws shade with beautiful pictures

BBNaija Pepper Dem season is long over but the drama continues. Instagram was set ablaze with beautiful pictures of BBNaija housemate Tacha

The beautiful pictures came with a fire caption which many fans saw as a major shade. She wrote;

Don’t stand too close to the heater babe. Plastic melts

 

IG users think it is a shade. What do you think

 

See the comments below;

Tacha comment section

Tacha comment section

Tacha comment section

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Wizkid wins big at BET Soul Train Awards 2019

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Wizkid BET soul Train awards 2019

Wizkid has made us proud again while making history. He took home a big win at BET Soul Train Awards 2019 alongside Beyoncé.

Nigeria’s StarBoy and South Africa’s Anatii both earned BET Soul Train Awards last night for their contributions to Beyoncé’s hit song “Brown Skin Girl.”

The song, which is an ode to dark-skinned women, was one of the standout tracks from Beyoncé’s The Lion King: The Gift. It earned the “Ashford and Simpson Songwriter’s Award” last night during the awards ceremony in Las Vegas. Wizkid is featured on the track and has a writing credit, while Anatii is credited as a composer along with Michael Uzowuru, and others.

The song was also nominated in the “Best Collaboration Performance” category.

 

The big winners of the night were Chris Brown and Lizzo. Check out the full list of winners below.

 

BET Soul Train Awards 2019 Winners:

Best New Artist – Summer Walker

Soul Train Certified Award – Trevor Jackson

Best Gospel/Inspirational Award – Kirk Franklin

Rhythm & Bars Award – Cardi B, Money

Best R&B/Soul Female Artist – H.E.R.

Best R&B/Soul Male Artist – Khalid

Album/Mixtape of the Year – Cuz I Love You, Lizzo

Song of the Year – No Guidance – Chris Brown feat. Drake

The Ashford & Simpson Songwriter’s Award – Brown Skin Girl, written by Beyoncé Knowles, Carlos St. John, Adio Marchant, Shawn Carter, Stacy Barthe, Anathi Mnyango, Michael Uzowuru, Ayodeji Balogun, Richard Isong (Beyoncé feat. Saint Jhn, Wizkid & Blue Ivy Carter)

Best Dance Performance – Chris Brown feat. Drake, No Guidance

Video of the Year – Lizzo, Juice

Best Collaboration Performance – Chris Brown feat. Drake, No Guidance

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Gospel singer, Sinach welcomes first child at 46

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Gospel singer sinach

Sinach, at the age of 46 has welcomed her first child after 5 years of marriage.

 

This news comes with the buzz of her latest single Ommema. Pastor Chris Oyakhilome shared the news at the just concluded LIMA awards which was held in Lagos at the Loveworld Convocation Arena.

 

“Thank you for that song, we are all excited with what the Lord has done in your life, of course in the life of many others standing with you here we just love you. And I told them, you just had a baby! so everybody got excited” Pastor Chris said.

 

The 46-year-old singer who got married to Pastor Joe Egbu in 2014 also went home with $100k for winning the 2019 Song of the Year Award with her hit “There’s An Overflow”

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Taiwo Ajai-Lycett tells her story; a mother at 15, raped at 65

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Taiwo Ajai-Lycett tells her story

Taiwo Ajai-Lycett has revealed how she became a mother at the age of 15, dropped out at 16, became a widow at 52 and raped at the age of 65.

 

The 79-year-old veteran Nigerian actress who is also a recipient of the Officer of the Order of the Niger (OON), made the revelation in a recent interview with TheNation.

 

According to her:

“I have been through the fire, I emerged fortified. I was 15 years old when I had a child. By 16, I was on my own. I knew I was going to get a good education. I was going to be a lawyer.

But I knew that I was on my own. My family disowned me. I married one David Akinduro in 1959 after I relocated to the U.K, but I left him due to domestic violence.

I met Thomas Lycett long after I divorced my first husband. Eventually I married him. We had a blissful marriage. He died when I was 52-years-old. I remember him everyday.

He was the one that told me that I was better off being an actor. In 2006, I was robbed and raped in my house in Egbe. I was tied. I was beaten. I was brutalized. My health was ruined.

I was blindfolded and raped. The man who raped me complained that he couldn’t gain easy entry into me because I wasn’t wet. I told him ‘widows don’t get wet.’

I kept talking to them and asked them repeatedly, ‘Are you doing this to your mother?’ Angrily, they taped my mouth but I remained fearless and prayed all through the attack.

The police came. They expected me to pursue the case. I knew the masterminds. I could have gotten them incarcerated but I simply moved on.

Look at me today, I am over it. See, the mind is a beautiful thing. When you hold on to past hurt, you tie yourself down to grief. You get infected with its poison.

Rather than wallow in grief and self-pity, I picked myself up and sought medical help, ensuring that they hadn’t infected me with any STD.. That same year, the Obasanjo government got me the Officer of the Order of the Niger (OON) national honour.

Few years later, One of them came to prostrate before me, pleading for my forgiveness. I told him to seek forgiveness from God. I told him that I had moved on.”

Full interview HERE

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Damilola Adegbite’s car vandalized with cryptic message

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Damilola Adegbite

Damilola Adegbite has taken to social media to share the cryptic hate message someone scribbled on her car.

Someone who clearly had a message to pass to the Nollywood actress decided to express how they feel using the car door as the notepad. The bitter fellow wrote ‘I HATE YOU’ on the body of her car.

Damilola’s response to the situation clearly showed she is not bothered about haters.

She shared the video with the caption;

“So apparently, someone somewhere hates me so much they had to leave a message on my car. I must be doing something right 😏”

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