6 tips on how to become your authentic self

Why do so many people feel confused about who they really are? When you think about it, so many things in life depend on our ability to connect with our true self. How are we supposed to know what we should be doing or who we should be doing it with if we do not even know who we really are? To truly know yourself is the most important skill you can ever possess. When you know who you are, you know what you need to do, instead of looking for permission from others to do what you already know you ought to do.

From the time we are very young, we begin to experiment with a variety of different identities. As vulnerable individuals in those formative years, it is only natural that we try on new versions of ourselves at fairly regular intervals. We have no idea who we actually are or who we will become, so we take our cues from those around us. Because we are young and inexperienced, we just naturally assume that by the time we get a little older we will figure out how to be ourselves.

Many of the choices we think we have made in life were probably programmed into us by the expectations of those around us, whose approval we craved. Everyone suddenly has an opinion of what we are meant to be doing at various stages of our lives. There will always be external influences trying to blur the line between who you are and who they want you to be but here are six vital elements necessary for establishing and maintaining your connection with your true self. This way, we can live the lives we are destined to live, and be the people we are meant to be;

1. Internal alignment. The absence of internal conflict is the only way to be at peace with our true self. Any misalignment between our life and our core standards will prevent us from being totally honest with ourselves. Self honesty is a prerequisite to internal harmony. To be yourself means that you need to identify your core standards and align with them.

2. Know your personal values. We all have a built in set of personal values. If we lose touch with those values we lose touch with our true self. When we violate those values we violate our relationship with the person that we really are. To truly be yourself, it is vital that you identify those values and make every effort to live by them.

3. Pick your pain and pleasure paradigms. As humans we are programmed to move away from pain and toward pleasure. To feel good about our pursuits and goals they need to represent some form of pleasure. To avoid the things that are out of alignment with our core standards and personal values, they need to represent pain on some level. You have the power to choose what to do with your pain and if you properly assign these pain and pleasure paradigms, they will fully support your natural tendency to be yourself.

4. Choose your passions carefully. You might think that you have very little control over your passions, but nothing could be further from the truth. To make sure that our passions align with our true self they need to be in harmony with our values and standards. It is within your control.

5. Adjust your response patterns. How we respond to the many situations and circumstances in our lives will determine how the world around us responds to us. Most people just react to external stimuli. How much more appropriate it is to respond in a way that supports our values and reinforces our sense of self honesty. If someone pushes your buttons and you just react, then they were the ones controlling you. To be yourself you need to consciously choose your response.

6. Cultivate positive beliefs about yourself. Being yourself is very difficult if you believe that you are worthless or undeserving, which of course isn’t true. Make it a habit to cultivate positive feelings about yourself as a person. Commend yourself for all the wonderful ways you contribute to the world around you. If you give yourself the approval you deserve then your identity won’t depend on approval from outside sources.

Do you want to share with how you were able to connect with your true self? Make sure to drop your comments.