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Dunsin Oluwasuji: 5 Men You Should Never Marry

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Earlier on, I wrote on 5 categories of women a bachelor should not marry. It is equally as important for ladies to know that not every TDH man is ideal as a husband. Not every man who drives a good car can lead on the home front, and large biceps have nothing to do with strength of character. Here are 5 categories of men that you should flee from, just as you should flee fornication.

  1. The Couch Potato
    These are men who tie wrapper and brush their teeth at 10:00am on Monday mornings. Granted, not many people are hiring, but if you are dating a man who is comfortable waking up and doing nothing, you just may be prepping yourself for the job of an ATM. If he is more interested in playing PES and FIFA 2017 more than he is about submitting his resumes, sister, talk to ya legs.

  2. The Importer/Exporter and General Contractor
    These ones are equally as dangerous as the couch potatoes. They do everything and they do nothing in particular. Their dream is to end up being everything, governor, successful businessmen, everything. They are good talkers with minimal output- and by output, I don’t mean money. I mean products. Your boo may be balling like E-money, but E-money’s got a job. Your boo may be Idi-Amin or Charles Taylor’s lost cousin who stashed their cash and is looking for a bank account to pay it into. You know what I mean?

  3. The Kungfu Brother
    If you haven’t married Uncle, and he is already ‘mistakenly’ dealing you blows, girl, you are lucky. That your marriage is still a day away is because you have a praying mother (or father). Babe, you are not a punching bag. He will not change. He will beat you. No. I take that back. He will beat you silly. You are not a goat who needs a rod to be guided. Don’t be a fool. I hear that there are ladies who doubt themselves so much that they justify the igbarun by saying that they deserved it. ‘Maybe I spoke too much’…’Maybe I deserved it’. Girl, you deserve all the love you can get. This guy will kill you. You don’t need arole to prophesy this into your life. I see him killing you. You haven’t found a man, you have found a baton.

  4. The Mr.Knowitall
    Mr. Knowitall may not beat your body. With him, your self-esteem is what will take a beating. By the time he is through with you, you will not know how to make common eba. He is an authority on everything on earth, including your parents’ marriage and your temperament. He can even read your mind, and he is often passionately wrong, or brashly ignorant. If you marry this man, forget that you have a life. Forget that you will amount to anything but a housewife without an opinion.

  5. Baba Ijebu
    It starts with smiling sheepishly after your date, you know, when the waiter comes along with the bill. He smiles. He hesitates. You are embarrassed, or you feel that genuinely, his hand is stuck in his pocket, and then you pay. And then you pay again. And you keep paying. He has a project that has taken all his cash abi? You are a spinster, not a fool. Use your head. This guy will take from you. He probably doesn’t love you. Love gives. If he loves you, he will buy you things. Beware of Baba-ijebu. The only authentic one is already taken, and I hear he gives like Santa. You don’t deserve a man that counts the meat your pot and deals in coins. You need a man who loves and gives freely.

I wish you the very best as you search for the man of your dreams. May he find you without delay, and may you both have eyes that see and see well.


*Oba Dunsin Oluwasuji is a lawyer by training and a media entrepreneur by choice

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