4 things you must admit to liberate you

Too often, we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone.  But we cannot please everyone and we shouldn’t try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections.  When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think the world wants us to be, we open ourselves up to real conversations, real relationships, and real peace of mind. Liberate yourself today.

1. We are more sensitive, vulnerable, and unsure of ourselves than we want others to know.

Every single one of us has a sensitive side, and yet so many of us try to hide it.  This is because sensitive people are too often perceived as weak or broken.  But to feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the characteristic of a truly alive and compassionate human being.  It is not the sensitive person who is broken, it is our modern society’s understanding that has become dysfunctional and emotionally incapacitated.  There is zero shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Never be ashamed to let your feelings, smiles, and tears shine a light in this world and don’t be afraid to feel a bit awkward and unsure of yourself in the process. The enemies we encounter in life, especially our own inner demons, use the things we are insecure about against us. This implies that we can’t hide forever.  We have to emerge.  We have to grow through our insecurities. Instead of smiling to be polite, just cry when you need to.  Instead of laughing when you are nervous or uncomfortable, just speak your truth.  Instead of acting like everything is all right, talk about your feelings.

2. We give others far too much control over how we feel and live.

Our desire to be socially validated by others is almost human. The biggest problem is we tend to forget that people judge us based on a pool of influences in their own life that have absolutely nothing to do with us.  Basing your self-worth on what others think puts you in a perpetual state of vulnerability, you are literally at the mercy of their unreliable, bias perspectives.  If they see you in the right light, and respond to you in a positive, affirming manner, then you feel good about yourself.  And if not, you feel like you did something wrong.

When you are doing everything for other people, and basing your happiness and self-worth on their opinions, you have lost your moral center. Refocus your attention on the right relationships.  Spend time with people who see you the way you are, and not as they wish to think you are.  Spend even more time with those who truly know about you, and who love and respect you anyway.

3. We often measure our own worth on a material-based scale.

If the conditions are right, it’s easy to grow horizontally by acquiring more money, newer cars, bigger homes, and various external accolades.  Vertical growth, on the other hand, is when you stay in the same place with the same things for the most part, but grow deeper and deeper into yourself.

Many of us feel stuck, and we age much faster than we grow, because we focus almost entirely on horizontal achievements.  We spend so much of our lives going through the external—material—motions of what society tells us “worth” is, that is, earning more money, buying more stuff etc. that we fail to concentrate on what matters most. No matter where life takes you, you will inevitably come across situations that make you second-guess yourself; situations where everyone seems to have more than you  and you’ll subconsciously measure your own worth based on what you have on the outside, instead of who you are inside.  Go for the things of greater value; the things material wealth and status can’t buy.  What matters most is having strength of character, peace of mind, and a grateful heart.

4. We rarely give ourselves the credit we deserve.

Appreciate how far you have come.  You deserve self-acknowledgment for your strength and resilience. Remember what you deserve and keep pushing forward. Life is not about a single moment of great triumph and attainment.  It’s about the trials and errors that slowly get you there, the small, inconsequential things you do on a day-to-day basis. The seemingly insignificant happenings add up to something.  It all matters in the end.  All of this has led you to every success you have ever had.  All of this has made you who you are today.  And all of this proves that you have the strength and resilience to deal with the challenges in front of you.