John C. Maxwell: How to Make the Most of Your Mistakes

How many of us have heard that recommendation—especially after something bad has happened to us? Many times we would be wise to follow it, shifting our focus to present and future goals. After all, an unhealthy obsession with past failures can paralyze us.

But like any good advice, it shouldn’t be taken to extremes. I’m a huge believer in moving forward, but I equally recognize the huge value of spending a short amount of time reflecting on past errors in a productive way. Why? Because it’s the only way to learn from them.

I’m not talking about throwing a pity party for your poor self. I’m talking about examining failure with an eye toward future success. I call that reflective thinking, and it’s a discipline that I practice regularly. It is thinking with the purpose of growing.

Reflective thinking allows me to process the events in my life and improve myself afterward. By examining what worked and what didn’t, I’m able to mine the best takeaways from my successes and failures, and use the knowledge to push myself forward. Because I am always trying to get better, I’ve found reflective thinking to be a vital part of my growth process.

Here’s my five-step reflective thinking technique:

1. Review.

Look back on the events of your past. I do that annually, monthly, weekly and, to some degree, daily. At the end of every year, I set aside an entire week to review the previous 12 months. Every month I look at successes and failures of the previous 30 days. And at the end of every day, I ask myself key questions about how I did in the previous 24 hours. I list the things that I accomplished, where my time was spent and any mistakes I made.

You can’t know what to do tomorrow until you know what you messed up today. As you review, ask yourself, Where did I come up short? Where did I come up strong? Make a list of everything that stands out. Celebrate the wins and make note of the losses. Then move on to the next step.

“If you aren’t making mistakes, you probably aren’t trying hard enough.”

2. Reflect.

I actually have a thinking chair in my office—that’s how important this step is to me. I use it only for contemplating. At this point, I examine every item on my list in more detail, with a single goal: to learn from each experience.

Here are some questions to ask yourself: What plans worked? What decisions yielded good results? What decisions ended up being wrong? If I were to approach the situation again, knowing what I know now, what would I do differently? Why?

The biggest mistakes often yield the biggest lessons, so think deeply to prevent your tomorrows from falling into the same traps as your yesterdays.

3. Recover.

When things don’t turn out as planned, you may need time to recover. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. In fact, I love the statement, “If you aren’t making mistakes, you probably aren’t trying hard enough.” Some of my business decisions weren’t successful and cost me a lot of money. I’ve taken risks that didn’t pan out. And I’ve made mistakes in my relationships with people that needed to be resolved.

Recovery time brings closure. Letting yourself feel bad for a short time can motivate you to fix what can be fixed. And it frees you to move forward. Just remember, with every look at the past, always keep an eye toward the future. This will help you recover effectively, without wallowing in regret.