dealing with verbal abuse at work? here’s what to do

Verbal abuse is a prevalent and serious issue that can go unrecognized because it leaves invisible scars. The abuse may be subtle or overt, and cutting words can be used to exert control, making the person doubt herself and lose interest in things that she was once passionate about.

What constitutes verbal abuse?

Harassment – Unwelcomed comments or actions based on a person’s gender, ethnicity, or religion are considered harassment.

Teasing, or sarcastic remarks – These demeaning verbal attacks can make someone feel as if she is not good enough.  Shouting, swearing, name-calling, put-downs, and hurtful comments or jokes can be humiliating, damaging the person’s well-being

Gossiping or criticizing in a hurtful manner – Whether work-related or personal, gossiping or criticizing a person or her performance is demeaning.

Intimidation – Verbal threats of physical harm or of dismissal from a position creates a hostile work environment and is another example of verbal abuse.

Ignoring – Although nothing is verbally said, deliberately withholding information and preventing access to opportunities is abusive.  Dismissing something as unimportant or implying that you are “overly sensitive,” can discount the person’s abilities.

If these remain unchecked, the results can be extreme stress, declining productivity, lowered self-esteem, and anxiety.

How to deal with being verbally abused.

Gain Insight – If you feel you are being verbally abused, ask yourself if you did anything to enable the situation. Look at this honestly.

Assert Yourself– It may be possible to reach a resolution with the person about his behavior. Maybe he or she isn’t even aware of the impact. Try to set boundaries and limits.  If the abuse continues, take the next step by reporting it to a supervisor or your HR at work.

Record outbursts – Keep notes about the abuse. If you can, record them. By playing it back your case is made, whether to the person himself, or your supervisor.