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The Big Difference Between FALLING IN LOVE And LOVING SOMEONE

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A lot of people hide under the bushel of these two concepts; it’s time to set the wheat apart from the chaff. Ayobami Ogedengbe explains the difference between FALLING IN LOVE AND LOVING SOMEONE.

Falling in love with someone is different from loving someone. Falling in love means it was induced by something the other person does. This might include how he talks, acts, thinks, relates, cares, gives attention and so on, he fills a certain emotional hunger you have. But the moment you get too used to the person, that emotional appeal you felt would gradually drop, this because circumstances have changed, your emotional hunger is now something else and your partner is not longer quenching it again, naturally you begin to enjoy conversation with somebody else. That is when people say they have fallen out of love, this will ALWAYS happen if you depend on a partner for emotional satisfaction -That need is insatiable.

But Loving someone means it is you having the capacity to let emotions flow out of you, this would mean you are an emotional tank yourself and you are full and willing to release, not because it was induced but because it’s in you (I don’t know how it got there). Also, this love is like a river, it doesn’t dry up.

Falling in love

(See the difference; one needs, the other gives. When the one that needs gets, in the beginning, he/she claims to be in love, at a point, he/she outgrows the emotion he/she gets and falls out love -NOTE: The partner didn’t necessarily change, the “receiver” just wants more, this is when nagging begins).

When you love someone, no matter how many times the person hurts you, if he/she comes back, you might be helpless in holding any grudge. That’s why they say love never dies, love covers a multitude of sin. Your friends will ask you “why can you take that from him, you are a fool” (I used him here because women are the ones that are mostly on the receiving end). That’s because you love the person. Love is what makes a man/woman stay where others think is unbearable.

But very many young people today might miss out on this beautiful experience because they are not patient enough to grow a heart of love. They are not patient enough to grow into loving someone. They get into a relationship because being in a relationship is the “trending” thing. They, especially ladies, get married because getting married is the “trending” thing and it looks like something is wrong with them if they are not married. Some others get into a marriage because they are looking for a legal ground to satisfy their sexual urge, this i believe is because of their religious restrictions; some, especially men, because they want to avoid coming home and having to prepare food for themselves. (When a man comes home and complains that why is my food not ready? you know why he got married. The question is before he got married, how has he been living?) -That’s a topic for another day. Men get ready!

So how do we solve this issue? Simple. Marriage is meant for Adults and not Children. The problem is that too many children that should still be attending marriage seminars are now doing engagement. Love as i described up above there is a function of maturity. It requires a level of “ignoring a lot of things” deliberately keeping silent over many issues. Eating a salty food with smile on your face. (just joking, but it’s more like it).

But a child will complain over every issue, “why didn’t you call me”? “why was your phone off?” “why didn’t you pick your call”? “who were you talking to?” “why did it take you so long?”… majority of these things could have simply being overlooked, but na lie. Children!

Give yourself time to grow and become a man, someone who has a grip over his emotions and contented with the woman/man you have. Not the kind of man that will always turn and look whenever any girl with some “round things” walk by. Some of us (I deliberately use the word US here, God help me too) will take a second look at almost every girl. I think we need POP on our necks! There are times I say to myself “i aint giving that second look” guess what? it works. hehehe. (but come to think of it o, I’ve got nothing to pin on women in these regard. This maybe because the ONE and the ones in my life are wonderful).

 

 

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