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10 things worthy of our intolerance

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There are certainly things in life we should tolerate like human differences, the incessant questions from children etc., but there are times when intolerance is an outright virtue. See 10 things we should never tolerate;

  1. Naysayers

Pursuing our dreams and reaching our goals are hard enough on their own. Be wary of sharing your goals with those who habitually doubt and criticize and put down. Wet blankets are wet blankets no matter what the relationship. Choose who you confide in wisely. Those who tolerate pessimism are those who volunteer to climb the mountain of life with one arm tied behind their back and one leg cut off. Still, do not confuse pessimism with wisdom or prudence. Optimism is not intellectual laziness. Positive thinking does not grant absolution from responsibility or honest self-evaluation of your assets, abilities and commitment. It does not excuse you from the hard work of preparation.

 

  1. Hate

Don’t tolerate racist jokes and comments. Don’t accept hateful insults thrown at you or others. Never look the other way or excuse the bully regardless of the bully’s background. To do otherwise is to enable and empower the hate, to turn your back on the bullied, give tacit approval to the intolerable behavior and abandon its object to a miserable fate. Don’t tolerate your own hate either. Be careful not to accuse every disagreement as being motivated by hate. Be tolerant of opposing ideas even if intolerant of the hate that may motivate some who articulate them.

 

  1. Dishonesty

Don’t accept lies and don’t tell them. Live your life in such a way as to not feel the need to hide behind them. Do not allow others or yourself the opportunity to nestle into their own cowardice. Have the courage to let the person overreacting choose how to deal with an honest life, not a pretended one. Then have the courage to accept their response.

 

  1. Hypocrisy

Do you expect from others what you do not expect from yourself? That’s what hypocrisy is. Hypocrisy is the act of living a lie, pretending to be something you are not or requiring others to live by a set of rules you reject for yourself. If you tolerate hypocrisy from others, you have to stop it. Demand an equal playing field. Anything less is a form of servitude. Refuse to be a slave to someone else’s unwillingness to treat you like an equal. Be decidedly tolerant of people inconsistently trying to live up to their values and intolerant of those who would hide behind their values or impose them on others while ducking the imposition themselves.

 

  1. Excuses

Excuses are messy things. They defuse and deny, weaken and stifle greatness. Stay away from the numbing poison of excuses. Providing reasons is not the same as giving excuses, though. Reasons give an accounting, while excuses justify. Reasons accept responsibility, while excuses seek to pin fault on someone else’s lapel. Reasons explain, while excuses try to divert attention and hide motive. Hold yourself and others accountable for the decisions you and they make. Be compassionate, forgiving and patient as we all learn to accept responsibility for our choices, but intolerant of the excuses we may try to irresponsibly hide behind in the meantime.

 

  1. Gossip

If you are not intolerant of gossip you will become a steppingstone for it to spread its social damage. Gossip not shared but tolerated is fueled. Refuse to tolerate it. Make those dishing it out explain themselves. Suggest going to the person being gossiped about for their side as a concerned friend or neighbor or associate. Gossip is only a form of cowardice.

 

  1. Time wasters

The respect you have for yourself and others can be seen in the way you treat your time and theirs. This is not to say that socializing and recreation are a waste of time. They are essential to renew and befriend and experience many of life’s little joys. But to spend hours on end in no particular endeavor, as a pattern of repeated behavior, stealing the moments otherwise available for more meaningful activities is to fundamentally misunderstand what life was meant to be.

 

  1. Ingratitude

Ingratitude is a particularly ugly form of selfishness. It’s taking others’ kindness for granted, indifferent to their thoughtfulness. Ingratitude is intolerable because it fails to recognize the humanity of the person who has done something kind. Help people grow by gently and lovingly and compassionately reminding them to express gratitude more freely. You will be helping them lay a foundation for greater and deeper and more consistent levels of happiness. Still, the most effective way to encourage gratitude in others is to be grateful yourself.

 

  1. Self-condemnation

The words we use when we talk to ourselves or about ourselves matter tremendously. They matter because our words tend to gel into belief and belief sets the parameter for action. So the tone and words and meaning we use in our internal dialogue, shapes us, affecting our attitudes and reactions to life. Don’t tolerate it. Correct it. Argue against it. Tolerate mistakes and human imperfection. Don’t tolerate the self-abusive contempt we sometimes internalize when we inevitably stumble.

 

  1. Fear

Fear is only a perceived obstacle to the path you want to travel. It does not control you. It’s nothing more than a feeling, an emotional response to a perceived outcome. Change the perception and the fear starts to dissipate. Remember that what you want is on the other side of fear, so go for it.

 

 

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